Climbing through windows

Regardless of the image the title of this post might inspire, I don't actually have a secret life as a cat burglar, lol. But, while I'm not a religious person, I do like the phrase "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."

And what does this have to do with talking about what I do when I'm not writing? For me, quite a lot actually. I've been thinking about this topic since it first appeared on the calender. I've been thinking about it even more since Chris's comment last week about how you want to be perceived as a writer. After all that thinking, for better or worse, here's the truth.

Quite a few years ago I was diagnosed with ME. It's also called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The easiest way I can explain it is this - Remember what you felt like when you had the flu - not just a cold, the real thing? You're whole body aches. Your energy disappears. Your hot and cold and uncomfortable. You can't eat. You can't sleep. Remember how it hurts in a way not even a masochist could enjoy?

That's pretty much what having ME is like - accept the symptoms can persist for years rather than days.

I get good times and bad times. Last year was a pretty good year and a lot of fun in parts. This year is not turning out to be quite so good energy wise. I'm currently managing a total of about 12 hours a week outside the house. Whatever energy I do get goes into my writing, editing, etc.

When I'm not writing isn't because I'm not well enough to do anything right then.

The best thing anyone who has ME can do when their energy levels crash is to retreat into a dark room and just lie down and do nothing. As I said up the top of the post, one of the things a lot of people with ME have trouble with is sleeping. So you end up just lying there in the dark for long periods of time.

You know what's a great thing to do to pass the time in that situation? Make up stories inside your head - it's quite possibly the only activity in the world that doesn't require any energy at all.

I always had this vague idea that I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. So, I've always made up stories inside my head. But now, I make up a lot of stories. And when I get the energy to do so, I write them down, edit them up and send them off.

There are a lot of things I can't do at the moment, but that's something I can do. So I make the most of it. I write a lot. And it's going quite well for me at the moment. My sixth title, You First, was just released by TEB.

In some ways, writing for publication is the window I'm climbed through sooner than I expected to because there are quite a few doors closed around me at the moment. But you know the strange thing? When my energy levels start picking up and those doors open again, I can't imagine I'll write any less than I do now.

I love writing. I love giving the characters who live inside my head happy endings. I think I'd go crazy if I tried to stop.

So when those doors start opening again, I'll cheerfully add a few more things into my life to replace a few of those hours where I'm not well enough to do anything at all (and look out when I do, because when my energy levels are up I'll have a lot of catching up to do! lol.)

But as far as the actual writing goes - I really love the window I climbed through. To completely mix my metaphors, lol - Sometimes the silver linings around the clouds are prettier than clear skies.

Kim Dare
Kink, love and a happy ending. Do you Dare?