Last week I mis-posted. I was SUPPOSED to write about "writing during holiday insanity". However, I propose that I wasn't mis-posted but that everyone else on the blog is mis-posted because, hello, we're in the middle of the holiday insanity Right. This. Minute. Or are you not all currently planning turkey day and wondering why the f*ck you agreed to make green bean casserole again when the last time you did it, you cut your finger on the soup can lid? Or dropped the turkey on the floor and it slid down the basement steps into the kitty litter box, where you passed it off as granulated salt? I'm right. We all know I'm right so give into the pleasure of being "right" with me.
There, doesn't that feel good and relaxing? See what I did? I made you all cozy for two seconds flat because maybe you cook better than I do and your kitty litter tastes like cinnamon crunchies.
Can I just ask: Who the hell writes during the holidays? No, Brynn, you don't count. We've established that you're super-human. I try to write. I look like I'm writing because I do take my computer to the family digs but when it comes down to it, I'm probably surfing the web or watching Charlie the Unicorn on youtube. Maybe I'm IMing. Yeah, that's prolly what I'm doing. So if you want to look like you're working, but you're actually working at avoiding, find me on instant messenger. I will even type things that sound serious in case they are looking over your shoulder.
Things like: Hey, in that chapter with the guy and that dude, did I get the point of view right? Your opinion is critical to my awesome-tacular sales. Or: What do you think about dropping the first chapter all together and then moving that paragraph to the next page?
See? Instant work. Add water and Mia. Well, not water. Computers frown on water.