Too crazy for fiction? Probaby. Too crazy for my family? Nope.

So I was perusing one of my favorite websites, Texts From Last Night, a couple weeks ago and I came across this post.

(989): We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.

I noticed the area code and realized that the college my little sister attends is in that area code. Now those of you who've met my sister, hell, those of you who've read any of my blog posts regarding the crazy things that happen in my family, will completely understand why I had to ask if she was involved. Those of you who are unfamiliar to with any of the above will just have to trust me that the question was warranted.

Apparently, there's a rule at frat parties. If you pass out drunk with your shoes on - you're fair game. That's when the sharpies come out and people sign your body like it's a yearbook.

Well, it was homecoming weekend, and there was this guy who'd come up to the college to visit a relative who lived in the frat house. This guy was a drunken, boorish ass. He complained loudly to anyone who would listen (and even those who wouldn't) that he was pissed because none of the sorority sisters would sleep with him and he "brought beer and everything." He whined constantly about his "blue balls" and how the sorority sisters were just a "bunch of sluts anyway" and they should totally do him because he'd brought beer. (I had no idea that a buying a case of beer entitled one to sex. Who knew?!) The brothers in the house were getting pissed because he was being so awful to the women there, but they couldn't throw him out because he was a guest and was clearly too drunk to go elsewhere.

(It should be noted, these are the guys from the only frat house that women at this college call to walk them across campus after dark if they don't feel safe. They're honestly a great bunch of guys. Their house, however, is a nightmare and I felt like I needed a shower after visiting it - but hey, they're college boys. It's not like they clean.)

So anyway, back to the jerk. Everyone was thrilled when he finally passed out and they were even happier when they realized he'd done it with his shoes on. Out came the sharpies. My sister and three of her guy friends, we'll call them O, S and J, went to town. When S wanted to continue his drawing below the belt, and felt too weirded out to open the guy's jeans, my sister helped him out with that and tugged his pants down a little way.

While they were finishing their artwork, S got an idea. An awful idea. S got a wonderfully awful idea.

The conversation went like this:

S: Do we have any spray paint left over from making banners?
J: I think so.
S: Is there any blue?
J: I think so. Why?
S: Just go get it.

So J returned with the blue spray paint and then they all stared at the guy because S wasn't feeling quite so sure about taking his pants off, fearing that it might be "a little gay." However, O, who's "comfortable in his sexuality" had no such qualms and yanked them all the way down.

My sister went and got some paper towel because no one was willing to touch the dude's penis, because as she said, "You don't know where that thing has been...probably no where, really, but why risk it?" So she lifted it up while S shook up the can and commenced spraying. Now the guy literally had blue balls. They tucked him back in, zipped him up and let him sleep it off.

I would have loved to have been there when he woke up. Apparently, he wasn't happy.

Now, I'm betting that if I tried to put this scene in a book, it wouldn't fly, because "something like that would never happen in real life."

Flaking again

So y'all know I got married on the 17th. And since I never did come back and post pictures I thought I would share some with you now. Below are a few of my favorites that we've managed to collect. Obviously it will be forever (2 more WHOLE weeks) until we get the proofs from the photographer. But these are from my family and friends and turned out pretty well.




I have actually started writing again, so perhaps NEXT week I will post up about writerly stuff. Or maybe I'll have more pics of me and my handsome husband to share. Who knows? You'll have to come see.

XoXoXo
Dakota

Mounting the Bizarre

Is there anything that is too crazy for fiction? If it's written well, too crazy could seem genius and misunderstood. Isn't that what they said about Picasso and Van Gogh. Granted, the removal of one's own ear to show affection might be a far-fetched reality, but VG's art continues to stand the test of time.

Perhaps then this question boarders on the one we had earlier regarding things we would never write. Things too crazy for us to touch even in a fictional standpoint. Or things that truly are insane and should never grace the fictional personalities of our heroes and heroines. Ah, then I have a potential blog post!

I'd never create a hero or heroine with MPD (multiple personality disorders). I would find it confusing. I'd never create a hero or heroine with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) because I'd get bogged down in the repetitive writing and my editor would go mad with marginal balloon comments with the notation, "rep". I'd never create a hero or heroine with Rage issues. Not likable. I don't care how well you write, a hero belittling the heroine or the heroine constantly flicking off her boss and stomping her feet comes across as mean, petty, and immature.

I've written some oddball things including fish people. It doesn't suit me. I'd post it but you'd have to steel wool your eyes afterward.

What I find the true balance is writing characters and plots that stretch the boundaries of normal while being different enough to expand the reader into new territory. Think of a latex condom. Now fill it with a standard unit. That is normal. Think of a sparkling orange condom and fill it with a large unit which has a slight right curve. Unusual yes, but completely attainable for the reader to grasp. Pardon the pun.

The Rule of Fiction

There are a few rules in fiction:
1. All stories must have a beginning, middle, and end
2. All stories generally contain characters.

And unlike reality,

3. Fiction must make sense.

While surfing the internet for the weird and unusual - I found there is quite a lot of it, however, I think today, most people partaking in those activities would be considered too stupid too live, which isn't an attractive trait in a hero or heroine. I saw one of the weird medical mystery shows - I think from TLC - where a guy broke a bone or something and encased in concrete, he also stitched himself up with copper or some other metal. Now, if I had written that, I'd probably get a "no-way in h*ll would that happen" so you (meaning me the writer) need to take it out, with a stern reminder that hero's can be hero-like and stubborn, but stupid or stupid-like is not the best option. Especially if its not a comedy, which while I read, I can't or don't write.

Fiction must make sense, and it must make more sense than reality, while at the same time providing a time and space for readers to escape to.

I'm going to crawl back into my bed and try to rid myself of whatever is threatening to kick my butt.

Happy Reading,

Simone

We Left It Double-Parked on Western Avenue

I'm one of those people who have improbable things happen to them...a lot.

Whenever I tell people about them, they usually say "Oh, you should put that in one of your stories." Unfortunately, that won't work. Why not? Simple. Readers would see these things and think "Yeah right! Like that could ever happen."

Let me give you an example. When I was 15, my sister (who was 18 at the time) purchased a brand new, bright red convertible. We loved to go for rides in it, top down, no matter what the weather. You'd often see us tooling around our hometown in January with the top down, the windows rolled up, and the heater going full blast. Okay, that's pretty weird in itself, but that's not my example. Stay with me here.

On the day in question, a beautiful sunny day in April, sis and I were cruising the streets and minding our own business. Well, maybe we were scoping out guys, too, but that's pretty normal for gals our age. Any way, our folks had just returned from a bowling tournament in Ft. Worth, where my mother had managed to sweet talk a couple of cowboys out of their beautiful Stetsons. (Okay, that might stretch credibility, too, but she really did). Of course, sis and I decided to commandeer the hats and go for a ride in her car. We were minding our own business and tooling around in our cowboy hats and sunglasses, when sis saw flashing lights in the rear view mirror. Being a good, law-abiding citizen, she promptly pulled over.

Enter Officer Jerk Off (his name has been changed to protect the guilty). He strolled over to the car and asked to see our ID. Well, that was pretty easy for sis. She had a drivers license. At 15, I had nothing except my black-and-white ID card from high school, which was worthless in a case like this. We tried to explain that to Officer Jerk Off, but he said we needed to do better than that. Holding my sister's driver's license, he asked me where we lived, what her middle name is, birth date, etc. Then, he said he'd pulled us over because they'd gotten a call about a couple of girls (one blond and one brunette) who'd -- dig this -- just stolen a horse from a local riding stable. I interrupted to assure him it wasn't us -- we preferred cars to horses any day. But Officer Jerk Off wasn't buying that. He said the brunette in question had been my age and height with brown hair and brown eyes.

That's when I lost my patience. My mother says I've always been a tad too mouthy for my own good, and she's probably right, but at the time, I didn't think of that. "Look, officer," I said. "I've never been at the riding stable you mentioned or even ridden a horse for that matter."

"Besides," I'm sure I rolled my eyes at this point. "Where would we possibly have stashed a horse? In our trunk? Oh, I know, maybe we left it double-parked on Western Avenue."

My poor sister was nearly having a heart attack. She probably imagined we were going to get a "Go Directly to Jail" card. Not me. I was on a roll...besides, the nuns had always told us "there's strength in righteousness." (Or maybe it was "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.")

Any way, using my best Sister Mary Catherine voice, I advised Officer Jerk Off that the next time he was bored and decide to harass a couple of teenage girls in cool car, he should "try to think up a more plausible excuse." I took off my sunglasses and glared at him. "And if you'll look, you'll notice my eyes are green not brown."

I don't know if the cop was shocked or amused by my mouthiness, but he let us go with only a vague muttered warning to behave ourselves because he'd "be watching us."

So tell me...if you read THAT in a story, would you believe it?

I didn't think so.

Talk to you soon,
~ Stephanie

PS - One more improbable thing is that this was supposed to auto post to the Evo blog on Monday a.m. at 12:01...oh well, maybe I'll put that in a story.

Schnitzel With Noodles in a Styrofoam Container

I have favorite things that routinely end up in my books. Here’s the thing… I use brand names. My books aren’t heavy with them, but they do show up. I think it makes the writing more real.

If I would, in real life, say ‘I’m going to Starbucks’ then you can bet that I will use that type of reference in my books. None of the trademarked items in my books are things that I don’t use/talk about in my own life—at least, I don’t think so. I think as an author, I need to use things I can identify with, things with which I am intimately familiar. But, BUT, my usage needs to be so natural that the reader isn’t overwhelmed by the brand name dropping. It comes down to natural dialogue and natural real-life action. In real life, people don’t walk around spouting brands all the time, but they could say ‘Throw that Kleenex and Styrofoam in to that Dumpster over there’. It’s perfectly normal… and Kleenex, Styrofoam and Dumpster, everyday words, are trademarks.

So here’s my list of regulars (they do not appear in EVERY book)

I love Starbucks. Starbucks end up in my books all the time. It just seems like the perfect grown-up beverage place and really is identifiable to people across the board.

The same with Coke when it comes to identity. I drink soft drinks so therefore, so do my characters. And when it comes to cola…it’s Coke all the way.

Another fav: Oreos. Either you love them or you don’t. I love them…especially with my Starbucks. Strangely, growing up I used to like the cookie part and not care for the filling. Now, I love the filling and end up feeding half the cookie part to my dog. She loves Oreos too but hates when I have Starbucks ‘cause then she gets none.

I spend a huge amount of my time on the internet. Both Google and Yahoo are often featured in my books because of characters using them for info. If I’m talking about a character searching for something and their search results, you can bet I actually went to Google/Yahoo and did the same search.

I don’t know how, but well, somehow Princess Bride references end up in my books all the time. It’s one of my favorite movies and one I think a lot of people can identify so I feel comfortable using it. The same with Star Wars.

How could Barbie not end up in my books? I make Barbie references in my own life on a regular basis. It just seeps in…

And Keds, my favorite shoes. They show up too…

And now, on with my Keds… I gotta run!

When the bee stings...

As an editor, I don't have a problem seeing trademarked items in a manuscript as long as the author follows two basic guidelines.

1.) Always use trademarked items in moderation. Often the use of trademarked items lend a sense of time, place and realism to the story. However, sometimes I'll come across a manuscript that has so many brand names, it feels like the companies bought ad time with the author for product endorsement. Too many brand names in a single story can become very distracting for the reader.

2.) Don't allow brand name items to become a form of shorthand. What I mean by that is that I've seen manuscripts that use brand name items to relay information about characters rather than using the author's ability to describe the characters' clothing/lifestyle/furnishings etc.

For instance, when the majority of time spent describing the character is used to list the designer labels she wears, we the reader usually infer one of two things - either she's incredibly wealthy and a snazzy dresser or she's irresponsible and her credit cards are maxed out, but who cares, because she's got great shoes. The reader often finds out which when the character's credit card is denied - or not. A description that focuses on her as a person would be far more effective than name brand designer shorthand.

It's one thing if the author mentions the name brands of the ridiculously expensive light fixture, leather couches and vase and also describes them. But it's something else entirely if the author lists these name brand items as shorthand for the reader to infer that the owners of these items are exceedingly wealthy. Instead of elaborating on the appearance, feel and smell of the leather sofa, the author rattles off the high end furniture designer and that's the end of the description.

If your story warrants the use of trademarked items, by all means, use them. But remember, your descriptive skills are far more effective than any brand name you can plunk into your story.

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens

So due to my big ol' wedding last week I decided I would pre-post all my blogs. So I wrote down all of the up coming topics so I could work on them at my leisure. This weeks confused me. I wrote:

Fav. things In Vegas

And I was thinking, what does this have to do with writing? I have never even been to Vegas, how am I supposed to know what my favorite things are?

But then I realized, my note was for me because as you read this I am IN Las Vegas with my shiny new husband. If I feel motivated I might come back and post some pictures to go along with this post and make it all current and stuff. But probably not. With any luck I will be too busy to worry about blogging. Nudge nudge, wink wink. I love me some gambling. :D

Anyway, I suppose I should stay on topic since I blew last weeks all to hell. I love Guinness. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. I love it so much that as I type this it is 10am and I could really go for one. Just looking at that picture makes my mouth water.

This stout seems to be the only thing that consistantly turns up on my books. I don't use a lot of trademarks. This isn't a concious effort, I just prefer to write in general terms so I don't have to be as accurate. If I just put car instead of Mustang I don't have to worry about getting an email telling me that the body style of the 1978 'Stang did not look how I described it and I am an amature hack who has no business writing at all.

See, go for vague. Especially if you are not an expert at the items you are referencing.

Okay, well that's about it for me. Stop by later to see if I've actually decided to post some pictures of vegas that I have taken my very ownself.

XoXoXo
Dakota Rebel

When the dog bites

I have favorite things though I loathe looking up the trademarks in order to put them in my books. I will, on occasion succumb. Recently, it was Post-it notes (3M, for the record). However, those things I favor most aren't necessarily bound for a book.

We've established I'm a list maker. Here is another example using my favorite things:
1. The male diagonal oblique
2. Creamy, rich coffee (the brand at my office. Proprietary I think)
3. Charts/plans/calendars (I'm drooling right now and so turned on)
4. Red toe nail polish (any brand as long as it's deep red)
5. An antique plain gold and bloodstone signet ring I wear daily
6. "Nude" lipgloss (Bare Essentials) although Cover Girl, Crest lipgloss in nude is a close second.
7. Charcoal eyeliner, Maybelline (clearly I'm not a makeup purist)
8. Meeting die-hard fans (I'm horrifyingly grateful)
9. Real Shortbread cookies, not the crap the Girl Scouts sell (Lorna Doone is great)
10. Chocolate Mousse (the French who have it mastered)
11. A good, slow kiss by a man who can weaken my knees (preferably owner of #1)
12. Diet Caffeine free Coke
13. My Iomega portable hard drive.
14. Windows Live email system
15. Hell, the Windows Calendar program too (more drool)
16. Indomie Ramen noodles found only in the Asian market
17. Q-tips. I don't understand nasty ears. Clean them, people.
18. Oil of Olay 7-1 face cream with "touch of sun". I'm pasty. Shush.
19. Gain laundry detergent. Smells like heaven in original scent.
20. Valerie's Uncommon Scents (dotcom), maker and co-creator of "Mia" and "Mia Afterdark" which I wear daily.

What are yours?

Raindrops on Roses...Whiskers on Kittens...

Brown paper packages tied up with string...

....Okay, now, I know I wasn't the only one who had that song pop into their head with this topic.

hmmm...

My favorite things - I don't go out of my way to put brand name anything in my books. Personally, I don't want to deal with the hassle of trademarks and copyright issues. Nor do I think some things need more free advertisement. But there are times when my desires are trumped by my characters will and ideals. Like one of my characters who stood up and demanded that I tell exactly what they were driving, because they wouldn't be seen in just anything. There are times when I think I have the right thing, such as the car - and I'm not. Like a lot of people, I do gravitate toward certain things - like my characters drink Coke and not Pepsi. But for the most part I try not to do a lot of product placement, since they are not paying me for it. That would be bad - because every product used would be a brand name and the story would just be really expensive and long ad copy. Ick. All right, enough of those visuals. I'd rather think of the two new heroes that are trying to tell me their story now.

Happy Reading and Writing,
Simone

A Place of My Own

First off CONGRATULATIONS to Dakota who married her Mr. Yesterday!!!!!! Much happiness and love to you both!!!

Unlike a lot of authors, I do not have a dedicated writing space, I really want one. Infact I don't think there are any dedicated spaces in my house. Well, apartment - it's a small closet to some rich people, but that's okay to. Technology can be a wonderful. You'll see writers of all levels with laptops drawn and typing away where ever we can find a comfy chair when we're at a conference. But, that doesn't mean that's how we write at home. I know some writers can only write at their desk with a certain atmosphere surrounding them, much like some students while they study.

My office is also the living room and dining room. My desk is also my dining room table and sewing table and scrapbooking workbench. And because of that I can and do write anywhere. Either on my laptop, in my journal, or scribbled between class notes. I can easily picture myself sitting at one of those inexpensive artsy cafes in a city, writing, watching people. Because each person I see is a potential character with a story to tell.

I have a few musts, while I prefer my laptop, its not essential - unless I'm editing - which is where I was this week. But I must have music. Preferably the soundtrack I created for the book I'm working on. I also prefer to munch while I write - munchie of preference is Pringles BBQ chips. It borders on a must.

My ideal office - is a large room, with bookshelves on three sides - filled with books - and this is in addition to the two story library my house must have - hey, if I'm going to dream, I might as well dream big! The desk is an antique seceratary, sturdy. There are filing cabinets, a couple of easy chairs, lots of photos and pictures, and little figurines that litter all of the surfaces. My chair is executive style with fabric - because leather and humidity is a bad idea. There are French doors that lead to a patio that I can go and sit outside when the mood strikes. There is a stereo system, a small tv, and a shelving unit full of CDs. Somewhere near by is my sewing and craft room that I share with Bug, but its not in the same place so there are fewer distractions. There is of course my computer with multiple screens which makes editing easier and a printer/fax machine. There is a large white board with a box of markers on wheels for my use.

My current writing space does have dragon, elf, and fairy figurines and pictures, along with inspirational photographs. There is a purple stuffed dragon that is usually hiding in her cave, but more often than not is visiting Bug. There is a small white board sitting against the wall and a basket of colorful markers for use in plotting and brainstorming and getting me out of the situations I write myself into.

I wanted to have pictures of the places I write, but alas that didn't happen.

Happy Reading and Writing,

Simone

Dakota has a married!

My Editing Space

I have an office. It's a lovely little office, filled with books, candles, CDs and beautiful artwork. But usually the door stays shut and I park myself on the corner of the couch. Just me, my laptop and headphones. Oh...and a cat or five. I have one that likes to lay on my lap while I work, another that likes to curl up by my hip and a another likes to sit on my shoulder like a parrot. Editing has become somewhat of a group project as far as they're concerned.

Much like Brynn, I have a decently honed ability to tune out most distractions. To facilitate the tuning out I play music and ignore the phone. Some days ignoring the phone is easier than others, but I consider myself incredibly lucky. I can work from home, cwtched up under blankets and all I need is my laptop, a good manuscript and maybe a cat or three...or four.

My Writing Space

First off, let me say CONGRATS to Dakota Rebel who's getting married to her Mr. Rebel tomorrow!



My writing space...

I have an office. It’s a really pretty office. I have lots of stuff in it. Awesome writing books—two bookcases worth. My pencil sharpener. My CDs…

I never use it. Most days, my writing space is the living room couch. Right-hand corner, facing the big east-side window. My glass coffee table in front of me, containing my laptop, my planner, my calendar and usually my coffee cup and a reference book or two. Under my feet are usually my dog and my fuzzy red slippers. On the couch beside me are the house phone I usually ignore and my cell phone that I usually do not.

Most days, there’s no better spot in the world to be—that’s when everyone is working or at school. I’m in heaven in my own little corner of the world, the house, the room, the couch…

If I want music, I have Zune and about 2000 songs on my PC. If I want to talk to my fellow writers, I have email, Skype and IM. If I’m ahead of schedule, I have a DVD player in my laptop and on-line Netflix to keep me company. Mostly…I just have my word processing programs so I can work, and that’s all I need.

I am going off topic today

Because I am going to marry the Mr. on Saturday. Yay! Hooray! Fanfare! Woo Hoo!

Since I am typing this on September 15th there is really no reason for me not to post about the topic. I have 4 weeks before this post goes up, but since I haven't been writing anyway, there isn't really anywhere that I write at the moment and the topic doesn't pertain to me.

I am so very excited right now. I probably still will be when you read this, though my nerves might be a little more tense as the date is so close.

This is difficult. I don't know how I will feel in a month. Maybe everything is done, it's all perfect, and I am lounging in a massage chair getting my nails done while you read this. I just can't tell you.

I know that no matter where I am or what I am doing, I am head over heels for Mr. Rebel and that will never, ever change.

He is my happily ever after.

XoXoXo
Dakota Rebel
Soon to be...
Mrs. Dakota Rebel

Book In A Nook

Where do I write?

Pretty much everywhere. Once in my life have I ever raised my head from my pillow in the middle of the night to jot down a plot. Twice more I should have because I promptly forgot the "perfect story" by the time morning rolled around. Once more time, I woke with lyrics for a love song in my head and only remembered half of them. No worried there. The lyrics were far better in my semi unconscious state.

I've been known to work out a plot predicament on the bedding paper in my doctor's office a few times. She's used to it and pays me no attention. I've never written on a dental bib. Three times I jotted notes on a cocktail napkin, one time on a paper dinner napkin, another time-accidentally-on the fold down table of an airplane, so wrapped in my thoughts that I didn't realize I'd forgotten to take out paper. The airline staff was not amused. I was. Clorox took it right off after I'd transferred it.

Two instances I made notes on paper table cloth. One of those was on a date. He bored me. It was here I learned that one should never go on a date with a man who takes you to a sports bar if your intention is to learn more about him than the color of his nasal mucus. His head cocked back, mouth open in rapture at the elevated screen of football players was more than I could stand of his excitement to be in my presence... so I left his, figuratively.

Coffee shops, bakeries, restaurants with friends and their laptops, hotel rooms, my apartment... they are all fair game for working. It is fortunate that my primary computer is a laptop then, no? I'd hate to haul around a hard drive on my hip and monitor beneath my arm. Doesn't leave one place to hold her coffee. My niece, bless her, understands this and discovered that not only is my laptop red, but so is my portable hard drive for back ups. She promptly set me to rights with a red and black Swiss computer bag. All matchy-matchy and beautifully my favorite color.

And when I'm alone in the confines of my apartment, I sit cross-legged in an overstuffed chair, my back to the corner in utter silence. I may have to close the drapes to avoid the Johnson visual swinging across the courtyard, but no matter. It is in this chair, tucked legs, drink by my side, where the majority of my work is done.

In case my boss is reading... No, of course I never, ever email the latest chapter to my office inbox and likewise never add to it and send it home again. Not I.

"In My Own Little Corner, On My Own Little Chair..."

In a stage production of "Cinderella" I once saw, our heroine sang about her special place, a refuge so to speak where she could daydream to her heart's content.

Like Ella, I have my own retreat, too. I'm lucky enough to have a home office complete with a desk, file cabinets, and bookcases where I can write or read or gather my thoughts away from distractions. I can just boot up my Dell, pop on my headphones, and withdraw into the world of my characters.

My home office is a luxury for me, but a very important one. I know there are many writers who can crank out book after book while talking on the phone, monitoring kids' homework, juggling incoming IM's and watching a movie on the TV or DVD player. I am not one of them. When I write, I need to eliminate as many distractions around me as possible. So, I'm very happy to have "my own little corner" and "my own little chair."

Having said that, let me put this "luxury" into focus for you. My office is a luxury to me only. It's not some elegant, mahogany retreat with thick plush carpeting and leather accouterments. My office is in a former storage room in my basement. It was built on the cheap from cubicle panels and desk sections purchased inexpensively from a company that was going out of business. The concrete floor is covered by an inexpensive carpet runner and there's a small fan-slash-heater on the floor next to my chair as the room has no heat duct. In a Michigan winter, that means COLD.

But it's my space, where I am surrounded by my favorite writing books, photos of family, a coffee pot nearby, and everything I need to write the great American novel. Now, I just need to do it.

The other place I write is in the cafeteria at the place I work. I recently purchased a small netbook -- pink of course -- and I carry it with me in my briefcase. Several times a week, I take a lunch break after one o'clock, when the crowd has thinned out. Then I sit in the corner by myself and write for an hour. I'm amazed how much I've been able to crank out on a lunch hour. The escape serves two purposes, I get a lot written and it gets me away from my office for a little bit, so I'm fresher when I go back to work.

Whether I write at home or at work, I use a computer as I tend to "rewrite" everything when I transcribe what I've written with pen or pencil. I'm really trying to just write, so a computer works best for me.

So tell me...where and how do you write?
~ Stephanie

It works for me...

Once upon a time, I was at an RWA conference at a Suzanne Brockmann workshop where she was describing her writing process. After she uttered the phrase, seventy-seven page outline, my eyes glazed over and I'm pretty sure I started hyperventilating. I love me some Suz, but I knew right then, her path wasn't meant for me.

My writing path is a little more overgrown, sometimes hard to see and often rocky - but it works for me. If I had to choose, I'd call myself a pantser. But really, I'm more of a hybrid. I can't write an outline to save my life, and honestly, I don't really want to know how. I do need to know some things before I start writing a story though.

I need to know:

• who my characters are
• the opening scene
• the first kiss and first love scene
• the last scene

Ultimately, I'd like to know a few more pivotal scenes and the big black moment, but for the most part, I'll take what I can get and discover everything as the characters discover it.

Hold on to your butts...

I'm a total pantser.

I know, you're shocked right? Me, totally focused at all times always on top of things Rebel? Yeah, that's me.

I have tried to plot. Seriously, I have. I have never done outlines, this is a skill that completely escapes me. Just ask Mrs. Patch, my 7th grade English teacher. I don't even know how many assignments I lost points on for my failure to outline properly. Sorry, for this I am utterly unteachable.

Rarely do I go into a book totally blind, there is almost always a beginning and an end in mind. But the journey is as much a mystery to me as it will be to the reader. I want it to be an exploration we can take together. If I don't know what is going to happen, then the reader won't either. And that is fun for me. The unexpected.

There are times when I know how the book is going to end and I am completely shocked when I get there, and the prior events have changed how the story wraps up. And if I have done my job as a writer and listened to my characters, then the ending is soooo much stronger than it would have been if I'd forced my ideas on the story.

This may sound confusing to those who plot the hell out of a book. Or even to the casual reader. The characters are in my head, everything that has been written by me has been my idea, how can I not force an idea on a book that is entirely contrived of my ideas.

Because. (The Jr.'s favorite answer to any question.)

Yes I am aware that my characters are not real people. But if they come to life in my head the way they should on the page for the reader then it is not my concious mind controlling the story anymore. The characters have become their own people, I do not make them act as I would act, they begin to flow across the page and behave as they would if they were flesh and blood.

This is why the question "Are your books based on you?" drives me insane. No. Because my characters are their own people. Plus, I am not a gay, male vampire so DUH!

Random plotting is okay. I can know the gist of what my story is about. X meets Y and Z is trying to pull them apart. Can they solve B for Y before algebra sucks? Who knows? I guess we'll start the book and see what happens.

XoXoXO
Dakota Rebel

My Thong is Showing

Plot - Diagrams, charts, lists, outlines, chapter synopses, character sketches, scribbled notes.

Pants - sit and type.

What do you think I do? I have limited writing time and while I appreciate order, I have little patience for wasting time. I write ala pants. There are moments when I'm unable to use my laptop and will scribble on an envelope from my purse of paper towel while I wait. However, these occur for the current scene and rarely extend beyond unless a complicated plot twist has me stymied.

I admire those who can chart their manuscript into tiny segments but I am not one who can maintain the excitement through the tedious laying-out and continue to buzz through a book. I write as it comes to me. There is no muse. There is no magical elemental dragging me onward into publication. I never understood why writers give up their originality and creativity to a false god. Stories stem from your soul, sprout up through your viscera and flower at your fingertips. Take the credit. You've earned it.

Plotter or Pantser?

Yes.

That answers that question rather nicely, don't you think. :) See you next week. :) No? Allright.

What's the difference? Why does it matter? Why do you care? Why do I care? One question at a time. Eesh. One person, two hands.

A plotter is someone who plots out their entire book in written outline style before writing word one. There are different levels to this. Some writers do a bare bones outline or skeleton like the kind that archeaologists find with part of the spinal column intact, the skull, a few ribs, and a leg or arm bone or two. Then there are the ones with a slightly more defined outline, sorta resembling Mr. Bones (we named ours Johnny) from Science class. Then there are the more complete outlines like Mr. Bones with some of the muscles attached. And finally there are the outlines that are just missing the skin, because the author has done such a thorough outline, they really just need to pretty it up a bit, throw some extra details in there, and their first draft is done.

So what is a pantser then? A Pantser is the exact opposite. They usually start writing with an idea and a couple of characters swirling around in their head. Generally convinced that to plot anything is to write the story and so they're done before they get started. There are a couple of levels to this as some people know a bit more about their story than others, with all of their ideas for the story, the character,s and the world in their head. A pantser, generally does not really know what is coming next, as they write and plot as they go. The ending a lot of them see is "and they lived happily ever after" with no more details than that.

So those are the differences between a plotter and a pantser. Most authors put themselves in one or the other category. But that doesn't mean they stay there. The only person it truly matters to is the writer. Well, it matters to teachers, but that's another story. Me, I don't outline. I am, however, a pantser with plotter tendencies. I generally know the basic idea, the main characters, and how it ends - happily ever after. Only when I'm creating a world or mythical or complex back story do I do a lot of plotting. And that's so I can avoid inconsistancies. And even then, I talk everything out with a friend who doubles as a sounding board or on my wipe board before I write down anything. I'm in the camp of if I write it down, I'm telling it, so I'm cautious about what I actually write down. My outlines are more like kintergarden crayon drawings or to use the skeleton analogy that the archaeologist found - it's part of the skull, several pieces of bone - not whole vertabrae - from the spine, one of the finger bones, and a rib. Even though I am more pantser than I ever will be a plotter, I try to spend a lot of time on my characters before I start, so I can know what they're triggers are, they're likes and dislikes, and where they come from. Though, I have started a book, like the one I'm working on now, with only a couple of names, a vauge idea, and later the title. Author quirk - I have to know the title of the book before I start writing.

The other difference - a pantser can have more clean up and revisions than the plotter, but not necessarily. And just because you have the outline, doesn't mean you have to follow it. Just make sure your consistent with whatever you change. And it's believable within the world you created.

Whether you write with an outline or by the seat of your pants, neither way is wrong as long as it works for you. But don't be afraid to take pieces and parts from the other side in order to make your writing stronger.

Happy Reading,

Simone

Plot, Pants...That is the Question

Good grief! I sincerely hope that's not a picture of a "pantzer." If it is, it's enough to make a writer want to get out the spreadsheet and start plotting. On second thought, maybe spreadsheet is a bad word choice, too.

Okay, enough silliness. I'll get serious now...well, at least as serious as I can...and I'll introduce this week's writing topic.

When writers start their stories, they tend to fall into two categories: those who plot and those who don't. The latter category is said to "fly by the seat of their pants, hence their nickname pantzers.

When you talk to writers in either camp, they'll give you good and valid reasons why they write the way they do. Pantzers say plots and outlines are too rigid. Writing with the flow allows their characters to tell their own stories. Plotters argue that a good outline and/or spreadsheet helps them avoid the dreaded sagging middle and keeps their stories on track. Plotting also allows them to write chapters out of sequence as they know what actions need to occur in each section.

So, who is right, and who's wrong? Neither? Both?

Far be it from me to judge. Remember me? I'm the unpublished one in the lot. I can tell you that I've done both. I've started a story with only a title and a couple lead characters in mind and let them direct the story where they wanted it to go. On the other hand, I've also written a story using an extensive 110 page outline. Neither worked. In the first case, the characters often lead the story down the garden path, and I had to toss out more writing than I kept to get the story back on track. I hate when that happens. In the second case, my muse went on strike. It seems she feels she's already told the story -- 110 pages of it -- and refuses to collaborate with me any further on it. Muses will do that, you know.

So, I'm beginning to think the magic formula is a combination of both writing styles. Enough plotting to form a directionally correct map of the story, but enough pantzing to let the characters determine how they get from point A to point B in each section.

I'll be eager to hear what our more seasoned members have to say on the topic. (I'll take notes in my writer's journal, Brynn)

Mistakes

The publishing industry is fraught with mistakes to be avoided whenever possible. Variations of these have already been mentioned by our lovely authors, but they bear repeating.

Read the submission guidelines thoroughly. Does the house or agency you’re querying accept what you write? For instance, a house that only publishes erotic romance isn’t going to be interested in a thriller, high fantasy or alien space adventure unless it also has plenty of romance and sexual content. Likewise, a company that publishes sweet romances isn’t going want stories that include graphic sex.

Does the house or agency want the first ten pages? The first three chapters? Please send only what is requested. If they want to see more, they’re definitely ask.

If your submission meets the previous criteria, be sure to use a standard font e.g. Times New Roman, Courier or Book Antiqua. It’s incredibly frustrating to try to read a manuscript that’s been submitted in an ornate, difficult to read font. It also looks incredibly unprofessional.

Make sure your submission is as error proof as possible.

If you get a personalized rejection letter that states specific reasons your manuscript was rejected, look at your manuscript with a critical eye (after a mourning period involving chocolate and wine) and see if any of the editor or agent's concerns are valid. If so, take steps to make changes.

Learn from your mistakes. When you receive edits from a critique partner or editor, do you see the same kinds of mistakes every time a manuscript is returned to you? Do you start too many sentences with conjunctions? Use your character’s names too often in dialogue? Misuse apostrophes? Improper punctuation in dialogue tags? Depend on passive verbs as opposed to active verbs? Head hop? If so, (or if you have other regular offences) please make a list and check your manuscript for them before sending it in. Check every manuscript every time.

We all make mistakes, but the biggest one of all is refusing the opportunity of growth they provide.

Miss Stakes

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards. Rudyard Kipling

Some people say I’m good at everything I do…some people on this blog in fact. It’s so untrue. I’ve told them, and I’ll repeat it, I try a lot of things then I only do things I’m pretty good at. Then I keep practicing.

Is it a mistake to let the other stuff slide? Maybe. But it falls under the ‘pick your battles’ category. A few things I’m really good at that I wish I could let slide are my recurrent mistakes. Or perhaps you want to call them character flaws… I’m far from perfect. Your basic writing mistakes aside, here are a few of my big ones:

1. I over-extend. I’m getting far better at not doing this one, but you wanna talk about someone who doesn’t like to say no. I’m your girl.

2. I procrastinate. I know exactly how fast I can work, so sometimes…I’ll procrastinate. Strangely, this happens when I have way too much to do. It’s like my brain shuts down. And it only gets worse until I decide to kill myself digging out of the mess.

3. I’m stubborn. And that probably pisses off my editor a bit. BUT I temper this with: I will take any edit she gives me, unless—and this is where the stubborn comes in—she’s calling me on my word choice and I’ve used a perfectly legitimate word correctly. I choose my words very carefully. I’ll never say “Do you know WHO I am?!?!?!” but I might dig in my heels over a word choice if I believe I’m correct—and can back it up.

4. I don’t get enough sleep and I probably drink too much caffeine. This makes me over-tired and cranky and probably slashes my productivity, but I still do it and usually at the worst times.

5. I neglect to do things away from my computer. I’m not talking about the essentials like house upkeep. I’m talking about a mistake a bazillion writers make. We (me included) have a really bad tendency to make our world revolve around the little screen.

See… Not perfect. I make some pretty big mistakes. ~~Brynn

Since I am perfect I guess I'll just have to make something up for this week.

Okay, okay. I can hear your snorts of disbelief from here. Sheesh. It was a joke. OBVIOUSLY.

Mistakes are a fact of life. Everyone makes them. Sometimes you get caught in them, and sometimes you skate by. But no matter what, you must promise yourself that you will always learn from them.

That's right. I am writing this three weeks early and I'm sure someone else has touched on this before me. But it's important so pay attention.

LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES FOLKS! If you keep making the same ones over and over again there is a problem. And it will drive the people around you insane. They will stand by and watch you stick your finger in that light socket a dozen times. By time number 13 they will walk away shaking their heads. Why don't they tell you to stop? Because you should have figured that out a long time ago.

I can tell you right now to stop ending your sentences with prepositions. But until you get 5 edits back showing in bright red colors that you need to stop, you will continue.

You can tell a child a hundred times not to touch the fire. But until they stick their hand in it they won't understand why. (Unless you are my child in which case you were born with the knowledge of all the universe and have nothing left to learn. No really, she answers the question "How do you know that?" with "I was born with the knowledge." Then she walks away.
Mistakes are important. They really are. They are the answer to "why" and there can be no more important answer than that.

Sure, making mistakes sucks. But the more you learn from them the less you will make. And that is the ultimate goal right?

What does this have to do with writing? Well...nothing. But I told you, I'm perfect and pretty much had to wing this post. So as usual I just babbled until my word count looked bulky enough to post.

XoXoXo
Dakota Rebel