Ok, so I have a confession to make. I had to look up purple prose. Yes, it's true. I didn't know what it was. I mean, I had a general idea. I knew it wasn't good. But what I learned is that it's not good, unless it's really, really bad. Then it's AWESOME.
I don't know if I can write it quite to the level of some of the examples I found. In fact, I know that I can't. I just don't have it in me. Ask my editors. They have to poke and prod to get more description out of me. I like to think of myself as a 'tight' writer. Don't be dirty, even if that is true as well. I am just not good at talking about feelings, or describing silken hair that blows in the breeze like the fur on an alpacas knee...
Hmm, no, that's not very good. It's not even bad/good.
His eyes were like tepid cess pools...is that a compliment? Cess pool sounds like a bar in downtown Detroit. And actually, after looking up the definition of "Cess Pool" on dictionary.com I find that it can be: any place of moral filth or immorality. Hmm, that could certainly be used to describe the eyes of a couple of my heros.
Her body shuddered with need. Her thighs shaking like jello during an earthquake as her eyes rolled back in their sockets as if she had been bludgeoned across the back of the head with a nine iron. She clenched her muscles tightly to keep her love pudding from quaking too badly in the wake of her hurricane strength orgasm.
This is actually pretty hard. Hard as ice..no, that's lame. Hard as...I don't know. It's difficult.
You know who probably rocks at purple prose? Southeners. There is something so melodic about the way they talk anyway, tones dripping in sacharine and honey and molasses and all of that nonsense.
You know who in particular would be awesome at it? Blanche Deveraux. True, that is not a picture of Rue Mclanahan. It is a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater. (In case you couldn't tell.) If you ever watched the Golden Girls you have to remember her stories and the way she over embellished and dragged out EVERYTHING. It was great, and hilarious. And sometimes even kind of pretty.
I just don't have that in me. Sorry. I am not purple. I'm more of a forest green. Maybe even a steel grey. On some occasions a stormy blue. But not so purple. And never pink.
I am off track. I do that a lot. Sigh.
There will be lots of interesting prose this week I'm sure. I am pre-posting this, so Simone and Mia have had their go and while I can't know for sure, I'll bet they kicked some purple ass. And I am quite positive that Bronwyn and Brynn will do the same. As for me, I am going to go lock myself in my black and red office and try to get any kind of prose down on paper. Purple, pink, yellow or otherwise. Any word count is a good word count. Right?