10 Days - with Commentary

I asked my groupies to help me with this week’s post. I did an unofficial survey of what scene my readers would like to have commentary on and it was decided with the help of Kelly and Angie that they wanted this one.

It’s from a story of mine called 10 Days in which each chapter is its own day in a ten day stretch in the lives of the characters. It’s fanfic and it's at least 4 years old I think, but it’s still one of my favorites. Of course once I opened up the document and re-read the chapter I wanted to edit it and make it better because I’m anal like that and can always find something to change. But when it comes to commentary I hadn’t a clue what to say! I often don’t know what the hell I’m going to write until it comes out of me, so a lot of the time my chapters don’t have hidden meanings or secrets. Sometimes they do, of course…but with this one, I honestly didn’t have much. To be honest, I was probably just in the mood to write the male lead as a sweetheart and then threw in a little sumthin’sumthin’. Anywho, here’s a peek!

"How come we’ve never had sex?"

Kel laughed and shook her head taking the beer bottle out of Nick’s hand, "You’ve definitely had too much to drink tonight."

Yeah, this was one of those fanfic’s where the fictional me was the main character. I like to say that the Kel’s in my stories are like Barbie… They’re all the same chick but with different talents, jobs, and clothes.


Oh and this was my first attempt in a long time writing in 3rd person.  Most of my stuff was in 1st person at the time I wrote this.  Actually I still love 1st person, but I know some people are picky about it.

"I’m not drunk…" he said and smiled taking his bottle back. They‘d been sitting in a high-backed two-person chair on the deck of the house watching the moon over the water while talking, drinking and enjoying the calm of their surroundings. "I was just thinking about it. I mean, you’re so hot… and so am I," he snorted at himself and she laughed watching him. "How come we never slipped and just went at it like animals?"

I seem to write two person deck chairs into a lot of my stuff… I love them. Cozy! Adirondack’s are my favorite.

"Because we love each other too much to risk it."

"Risk what? And aren’t people supposed to be in love when they have sex?"

"Risk our friendship…" she smiled. "You know… making it all weird with sex."

"I never understood the theory that having sex would make things weird between friends…" he said shaking his head. "We’re best friends, you love me, I love you. You know me better than anyone in the world, who better than to sleep with than someone I trust completely?"

"Sure, in theory it makes sense. But seriously, let’s say we’d had sex… You’d always have it in your memory bank. You’d always be able to think about me in the throes of passion, and not always in appropriate situations. Like you’d introduce me to your latest girlfriend and in your mind you’d be thinking that you’d fucked me. Or you’d be at my wedding and dancing with me while I’m in my wedding gown and you’re thinking, ‘Wow, I actually tapped this ass once…’"

They both laughed and Nick shook his head, "Okay, so maybe I’d do that… but what’s wrong with it? You’d do the same thing. You’d be getting married and I’d be your best man… cause you know I will…" he chuckled and she smiled with a nod. "And before you’d say‘I do’ you’d think ‘I should have screwed Nick once more before today…’"

"You’re so crass…" Kel laughed.

"Oh and you’re not?" he laughed back. "My point is… so what if we have screwing each other in our memory bank? I’d much rather remember fucking you than fucking Heather…"he said rolling his eyes.

Heather is my sister in law’s name… I have no idea why I pulled her name out of my ass.

Kel laughed loudly and nodded, "You’ve got a point there. She couldn’t have been a good lay. She was so…picky."

"She was horrible in bed…"he said with a shudder that made Kel laugh.

No, I don’t know if my SIL is bad in bed or not. LOL I do know a little too much about her sex life though.

"Yeah well, I had Steve…"Kel groaned. "He was so bad. I don’t think he ever got me off. I faked it every time."

Nick snorted again, "That’s bad…I’d get you off…"

Rolling her eyes she smiled, "I’m sure you would."

"I’m never going to get the chance am I?" Nick said as he rolled his head to the side and looked at her.

"Not while I’m with AJ…" she said with a smile as she reached out and touched his cheek with her hand. "I’m flattered, but I can’t…"

"That just makes me want you more…" he smiled and turned his head to kiss the inside of her hand gently.

She smiled shaking her head, "My poor Nicky…"

"It’s not even about my needs…" he said. "I just want to make you feel good…"She stared at him for a moment, not exactly sure how to take his comment. "I don’t get how he could stay away from you for so long. There’s no way I could keep my hands off of you if you were mine. Not even if I were highly medicated."

He reached out and ran the back of his fingers over her cheek, "Nicky…" she said softly, her voice spiked with sadness.

"I just don’t get him, Kel. How can he turn you away? How wrapped up in himself can he be to be so blind to you? God… there’s so much pain I your eyes. Can’t he see that?"

She closed her eyes when she felt them fill with tears and she shook her head, "Don’t…"

And here’s why my muse decided to take over and lead things in a totally different direction.

"You’re so beautiful…" he whispered to her and wiped her tears away gently. "You’re so amazing… He has no idea what he has." She continued to cry and couldn’t form any words, simply keeping her eyes closed she shook her head. Nick’s hands stopped her from shaking her head and then he pressed his forehead to hers still holding her face, "You deserve to be touched." He softly pressed his lips to hers, "…and to be kissed."

She let out a soft sob when his lips met hers a second time and he kissed her in a way he’d never done before. He nipped her bottom lip softly and then pressed his tongue into her mouth. His hands moved from her face down to her waist and pulled her body into his as he kissing her deeply. Their minds swam with emotion as they kissed and their bodies responded to each other. His hands moved once more and sought out her breasts as he moved his kisses to her neck. Her head fell back as she felt his breath on her skin and his hands kneading at her breasts. She let out a soft sigh as her body experienced feelings it hadn’t felt in so long, everything in her being wanted him to keep going. She wanted him to make her feel as good as she felt right then, and even better.

He on the other hand hadn’t planned on making any move on her that night, but when he did, it just felt right. He really did want to make her feel good, and he didn’t mean just by making her laugh either. He didn’t know where it had all come from, but it was there, and there was no denying the fact that he wanted her, and it felt like she wanted him as well.

"Let me make you feel the way you should feel, Kel…" he said softly against her neck as he slid a hand between her legs and slowly inched it up the inside of her thigh.

And here’s where I cut you off because if you haven’t read this story you can’t possibly start with a Day 5 spoiler! Bwahaha! :) If you want to read it, I can hook you up with a PDF, you've just gotta tell me where to send it.

Mwah!